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ishimondope:

shinji ikari. wow. shinji. ikari shinji. shinji ikari. incredible.

lolthefunniest:

thorki:

I JUST SAW A GUY AT WALMART AND HE LOOKED LIKE MORGAN FREEMAN AND HE CAUGHT ME LOOKING AT HIM AND HE POINTED AT ME AND SAID “IM NOT MORGAN FREEMAN”

thats exactly what morgan freeman would say

burgrs:

baddogsrus:

burgrs:

if u smash snails on purpose ur a fuckin piece of shit they are tiny cuties trying 2 get somewhere as fast as they can pls help them out 

um excuse me have you ever had a garden because those fuckers will fuck your shit up i mean they totally ruined an entire row of my broccoli plants in one night i am not even fucking around about my broccoli fuck snails 

image

humorcat:

darrynek:

the nominees are

  • leonardo dicaprio
  • leonardo dicaprio
  • leonardo dicaprio
  • leonardo dicaprio
  • leonardo dicaprio

and the winner is *opens envelope*

  • adele

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited

sexhaver:

boredlord:

What do teens like?!? Is it memes? Memes about skeletons? Piss? Communism?

this post is 20x funnier if you imagine a CEO shouting it at his board of directors

thefuuuucomics:

priest-of-rage:

ravenouscomplex:

niknak79:

How to make your monitor only visible to you

THAT IS REALLY COOL

If my mom saw me staring at my laptop with nothing but a blank screen it would go one of two ways.

She would either A: Accept it and carry on.

or B: Finally decide I’ve gone nuts and get me help

MANNNN
Anonymous said: i heard u were talking shit...u wanna go?

what. where. right now?

Cashier: That'll be $17.67
Me: *hands over $20*
Mom: I HAVE THE 67 CENTS